Why Do Leaders Pick Their Friends to Replace Them?

You’ve probably seen it happen. A well-liked leader is getting ready to leave, and instead of a full search, they quietly position someone close to them to take over. Maybe it’s a longtime colleague, a loyal employee, a grad student they mentored, or even a friend from the gym. The choice feels personal, not professional. And more often than not, it ultimately hurts the organization.

At first glance, it might seem harmless. The transition is quick. There’s no need for a search committee or outside consultants. The person is familiar, easy to work with, and the outgoing leader trusts them. From the outside, it might even appear to be continuity. However, give it a little time, and cracks usually start to appear.

Often, the person picked to take over just isn’t ready. They may be sharp, well-liked, and deeply loyal, but that doesn’t mean they have the experience or judgment to lead. Over time, people start to leave. Decisions are delayed. The team loses its rhythm. What used to work no longer does, and the whole place starts to feel off track.

Why do leaders continue to do this? Part of it is about comfort. When someone has been in a leadership role for a long time, they don’t want to see their work unraveled. They want someone they know will protect what they built. Sometimes it’s about legacy. Sometimes it’s about ego. Sometimes it’s just about wanting to leave things in friendly hands.

But in the long run, this habit can cause real harm. It shuts out stronger candidates. It sends a message that loyalty matters more than ability. And it often drives away the very people the organization needs most, those with ideas, initiative, and the skill to move things forward.

What Can We Do About It?

This isn’t just about calling out the problem. There are real ways to manage it better.

First, commit to an open process.

Even if there’s a great internal candidate, they should go through a proper evaluation. That means a clear job posting, a real search, and input from people across the organization. No one should be handed a job just because they’re close to the outgoing leader.

Second, spread out the decision-making.

Boards, HR, senior staff, and even frontline employees should be part of the conversation. When one person controls the process, it’s too easy for personal bias to take over.

Third, plan.

Succession planning should happen well before someone steps down. When there’s time to prepare, organizations can identify and develop people with real leadership potential, rather than scrambling to fill a gap.

Fourth, offer support on both sides.

New leaders need guidance. Outgoing leaders need help letting go. Having coaching or transition support in place can make the handoff smoother and more respectful to everyone involved.

Finally, stay alert.

If no one can explain why a successor was chosen, or if the process was unusually quiet, that’s a red flag. It’s okay to ask questions. It’s okay to push for better.

Leadership transitions are always tricky. But they don’t have to be personal favors. A healthy process prioritizes the organization’s needs. That means choosing the person who is ready for the job, not just the one who’s closest to the person leaving.

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